All the Glory is Gods
BEFORE THE MISSION
Thanks God for everything!
I was born in 1978 inIstanbul, Turkey. My parents had just moved to this city from a small town close by. My mother was 18 and my father was 24. My father had a shop in walking distance to our home. He would go to work early in the morning and would come home late in the evening. My mother did not work and spent almost all of her time with me at home. The apartment that we lived in was on a busy street so we did not go out often. My mother tells me that she would take me to a park on the beach twice a day in the morning and in the afternoon and those were almost the only times that I will stop crying. I am still known in the neighborhood that we lived in by then as the baby who never stopped crying. My parents almost got arrested once because of my crying while traveling on the train. The other passengers accused them of kidnapping me. They could not believe that a baby would cry this much unless he is in too much pain or taken away from his family.
Until I started elementary school, I was mostly isolated from the world. During the week we would go to the park or the beach with my mother, stop by my fathers shop on the way back and then spend the rest of the day at home. On the weekends we would go to my parents home town to visit the extended family during which I kept mostly quiet but did enjoy the farm and country environment. One thing my mother remembers about the trips we took on the train back and forth to this town was my constant questioning of everything, Mom, why is the sky blue, mom why are the clouds white, why it rains, why it's sunny, why, why, why! One time an older man traveling in the same compartment with us became so fed up with this questioning and yelled at me to shut up and be quiet. And what does he get as a reply, Mom, why is this man yelling!" :)
At the age of seven I started elementary school and for the first time was subject to all these different energies on a daily basis. I was mostly quiet and mostly looked like being at awe with everything and everyone. Most of the time it felt like I am on a play and everyone else has read the script and know their parts and act accordingly and I have no idea what was going on. So observation and the questions continued.
In those years the elementary school was five years and you go through first grade to fifth with the same classmates and teacher. However, somehow I ended up changing classes, and therefore teachers for three times. So, because of this, I did not have any particular close knit friends or group in just one class but rather knew a lot of people from different classes.
After elementary school my parents decided to send me to a private school so that I could study English. My fathers business was just blooming and even though sending me to private school was going to be a little hard for them, they did not hesitate to decide this is the right thing to do. For the first time I was an alien in a very different environment. Most of the kids in this school know each other from the private elementary school or lived in the same neighborhoods. Mostly they were from wealthy and influential families in the city. The way they speak, the way they interact and think was very different to me. So I was again quiet and most of the time just observing. But this did not last too long because this time my classmates and others in school were not allowing me to stay quiet in my corner. Some would try to bully you, some would smother you with questions, some would accuse or blame you of things, some would want to tell you their stories, etc. So in a sense, for the first time I had no chance but to interact with the outside world more intensely and learn the ways of the world. Most of the things did not make sense and usually I was not comfortable with many things.
And again somehow I ended up changing classes and therefore majors three times. First I started in sciences. I did not last long there though because the class was too quiet taking down the notes that the teachers put on the board and I always had a question that would cut the silence and get on the nerves of the teachers. I was never able to take notes, not that I did not try but as I started writing something down, I would be carried away with thoughts on the things I wrote and end up with a different conclusion then the teacher. And then I would ask about this to the teacher and most of the time I ended up getting yelled at to shut up and what would I reply back, Why? I did not understand the teachers reaction at the time because my question seemed to be so legitimate. But this usually was enough to give the teacher a nervous break down.
In short, after science class, I ended up changing classes twice and ended up in the most notorious, rebellious class of the school. In this class the only thing that the students did was to challenge the teachers. The teachers almost literally hated this class and with only a couple exceptions, could not really control the class. The students in this class were mostly from the wealthiest and most influential families and they had big mouths. There was almost always an argument going on with the teachers. So in a sense I mixed with them pretty good.
Towards the end of high school, I did not care about much. I was just going to school, joking, laughing, making the teachers angry and hanging out with my newly made close friends. Nothing really attracted me. Everyone had something to worry about. Which college are they going to go to, which classes they should take, which car they will buy, where are they going to travel, where are they going to work, etc. This all did not matter to me though. I almost stopped asking the questions I used to ask and was just living the daily life and going on with it.
My close friends, however, had the same worries as most of the others and were in search of a way out. They were thinking they would not be able to get in any college in the whole country because of their low grades. So they were always talking about studying abroad. They would bring brochures to school and would go to the consulates of different countries or would go to study abroad fairs, etc. And they would carry me around with them too. I was just going on for the ride though; I did not even think I had the slightest chance to study abroad. I thought it was too expensive for my family, if not impossible. I made some attempts at home to bring about the subject to the table but did not even get a reaction back other than a teasing smile.
That was the end of that story and after high school I managed to get in a college in my parents home town. They were very happy about this because they thought I was so out of it. None of my friends managed to pass that test and get in a regular college but somehow they ended up enrolling to some private college. So again, I was in a very new environment by myself. There wasnt any excitement though. And things did not really attract me. My parents had recently bought a house in this town so I was living there on my own. But this kind of thing did not really matter much because I was unable to find answers to my questions and no one else seemed to have questions like this. I would want to find people who would want to talk about higher things and find answers but this wasnt happening. I was making friends, and on the surface I had a good life but the school, books, teachers, professors, friends, family, no one was able to give me satisfactory answers. Some friends would listen to me but they really did not have anything to say back yet an answer. So I was getting angrier and angrier to almost everyone and everything, and this was bothering me too. My parents were, of course, feeling that something was bothering me, but they were thinking being away from the city and my high school friends and the luxurious lives they still pursue was the reason for my agitation. And therefore they decided they would buy me a small car to cheer me up.
So then I had a nice brand new car, a house, good friends, family and everything but something was missing and I did not know what. There was an urge in me, almost telling me to go to a different world but I did not know where, how and why. So I was trying to rationalize this urge and reason with it so that I could convince myself that it is not possible for me to go somewhere else and this is the way it is, this is how my life is going to be so I have to do my best and get along with it. Therefore I started studying for my classes, started working part time and exercising on my own. Just as I accepted the situation hundred percent without resentment, something happened though, almost a miracle.
I was visiting my parents in the city and we were having breakfast. Our next door neighbor joined us too. She was talking about a particular situation at work and was telling my father how important it is for one person to educate his self in higher degrees and know his self truly than having material wealth and statue and this kind of thing. And of course my father was making comments along the same lines. I couldnt help it but to interfere and say we should be given the opportunities to educate and know ourselves in higher degrees as opposed to be spoiled with material things. I was being a little cynical, I guess. :) And right there something shifted in my fathers way of thinking; he paused and then looked up and said Okay, go! And amazingly in two or three weeks I was on a plane to the US. Just like that!
I was like a fish out of the water the first couple of months in the US. This time I really was an alien in a different world. I knew nothing, and no one. I was attending OregonState Universitys language school but was thinking I was accepted to a four year college program and was just given some English classes to prepare me to take my real classes. In short, I knew nothing about the system, how things work, etc. And every other day I was learning something new and making the necessary adjustments. Sometimes it was a little too challenging and one day I was getting angry at myself that how can I be this illiterate and ignorant on some subjects and was being a little too hard on myself. Then I arrived to the building that I had my next class in and right above the front entrance there was this huge sign that read, You know enough, if you know how to learn or something similar in meaning. That was a very uplifting moment.
The next six years or so I continued to learn about many different subjects such as western science, (biology, chemistry, physics, astronomy, medicine, etc.) as well as eastern and ancient knowledge (Far East philosophies, meditation, yoga, reincarnation, astrology, etc.). I started studying Business Administration in a Community College in San Diego then transferred to a four year college in the same city and studied business, biology, and finally graduated with a psychology degree.
In this period, nature and natural living was the focus point of my life, and I was surfing, meditating and practicing yoga regularly. I would continue my search on the basic questions I always had like: what is life, what is the purpose of life, where did we come from, where are we going, what is death, what is God, does God exist, etc. I would be amazed with the things I was finding and experienced and also was getting very surprised how come many people do not even hear about these things in their lifetimes and live very ignorant and therefore miserable lives.
Through searching, studying and meditation and such practices I was finally able to find the answers I always was seeking. I was asking and they were getting answered. The right book at the right time would almost pop right in front of me. And always there was a feeling that the two poles, East and the West and their knowledge and wisdom have to be put together, so that things will become whole. But how could this happen? I had no idea and I started to ask these kinds of questions. Was this possible, what was the Plan of God? It seemed certain that a universe as precise and amazing as this should have a Creator, a logic behind and He/She/It definitely should have a plan. It looked like He knew what He was doing (history, sciences, etc. was proving this to me). So I stayed in school in order to continue my search and be able to stay in the US. I stopped taking money from my parents and was usually working a couple of part time jobs. At the same time I was meeting many people all around the world, which was confirming the feeling that we are all from One.
Also in this period, besides many other things, I came across a Buddhist book in which there was a section that talked about the Maitreya, the world teacher. The section was also giving the characteristics, qualities and the general life patterns of the members of the clan of Maitreya. It was so interesting because I never heard about these things before and the things explained were so in tune with me and also my life. So then I thought, Okay, then I must be a member of this clan, how beautiful.
Later on, again on the Internet while looking for something entirely different I came across the Share International website. I almost read the entire website and did not think about it much. It was like another source for me that was showing the new Era is approaching and Maitreya is going to be the one that initiates it, one way or another.
I was probably thinking more in the lines of the New Agers and not too scriptural at that time, and wasn't really thinking things through, therefore was comfortable with the idea to expect Maitreya to come up one day as Share International declared. And until this happens I decided I would make the most out of my life and help myself and others as much as I can. But I wasn't sure what to do.
I had opportunities to move to different places and work good jobs and start businesses and be a part of these things but nothing really made the most sense.
I thought, I would be waiting for Maitreya to come to help him but at the same time it wouldn't hurt to help my self and others in the mean time. So I decided to find something that I can more directly and actively work to help my self as well as others in knowing our true selves.
As I made this decision I started to feel so relaxed and comfortable with life. I did not know what to do and there was great ambiguity and uncertainty yet at the same time, there was great feeling of confidence in God and therefore great joy. Right around this time old friends from Turkey would call me or send me an email. Or I would come across people that I know from Turkey online and news from Turkey started to come in. Also, we were having video conference conversations with my parents online and I was feeling that they were going through some unpleasant things which they would not tell me. But they looked so weak and tired of things.
Thoughts started to run through my mind that if I should go back to Turkey or not and whenever I thought about this a great excitement and joy would come to me. This, of course, did not make any sense to my analytical mind at that time but the urge and the feeling was so intense and strong, it could not be ignored. So in a matter of weeks, again I was on a plane, this time going back to Turkey after about eight years. Again, just like that!
The first couple months or so back in Turkey was so lively. My parents were so happy to have me back, all the family was gathering in our house and we would enjoy good food, good conversations and all that. At the same time, I was helping my father out to solve the problems he had about his new business situations and also with some legal problems he had with his renter. However, right around the third month that I was back, the situations started to change.
Again, I found my self at a spot that I did not know what to do. I was getting offered good jobs, good salaries and everything but I already knew these weren't what I was looking for. This situation was bothering my parents a lot. They were trying to force me into taking a corporate job and settling down and even getting married. I was sharing my views on life and everything but they had no idea! :) I was avoiding them and they weren't bothering me but I was getting cornered at the same time. I was getting frustrated. What was I to do? I can do many things, but what was the one thing I was to do?
I emailed Share International and told them I would like to translate the material on their website to Turkish and help Maitreya as much I can. Right the next day they replied back to me with a long email, how glad they would be and asking me if I would be willing to get involved and spread the word and advertise and all things. I got so excited and replied back to them with all my excitement and all the things I can do. However, they never replied back to my mails after that. I was back to square one again.
And I was going on long walks. And one of these days while walking it just hit me that I did not know what to do because I was trying to figure out what to do on my own again, just as I usually fall into this trap I was there once again. I realized I was almost ignoring God! But I was reexamining my life and apparently God had a plan. That was a great moment. I almost fell on my knees and burst into tears. I had to leave myself to God, that was it!
I came home with great joy. I was so relaxed. But at the same time my heart was pumping in the rhythm that a race horse runs. So I lie down and started breathing deeply to calm my heart down. I almost fell asleep and then something almost told me that how come you never searched Maitreya on the Internet? My eyes were wide open and I was almost shocked. Really, how come I never Googled Maitreya? I have searched everything on the Internet but never looked up Maitreya. So I immediately got up and started my computer. I was typing Maitreya in the search box in the Google home page and I was so excited. And what happened? The first thing on the list for the search results was the Mission website. Maitreya was already here! I entered and got lost in the Teachings. All the questions were simply getting answered. All the things that were found all through these years were getting confirmed. And everything just made the most sense. I was reading the words of the Greatest Revelation of God for sure and it was amazing. It just made sense. I read The Plan and that was it. I had to send an email and become a part of this. I had no other choice. I did not even care if they would reply back to me or not at that point. This was it! This was going to be the thing that I would dedicate my life to, no matter what.
And later, I become a contact person for the Mission. I started translating and learning the Teachings. And I was hooked! The rest is history and I should save that for another story. :)
God is the Greatest. Thanks God for everything! All the Glory is Gods!
Sal-Om
Unus