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Tablet Seven

VIRTUES OF MARRIAGE

<1>The truth below should be understood by both partners who want to marry. <2>Parents and society are also responsible to make sure that both the man and woman understand the truth which underlies a marriage, are aware of its spiritual and social values, are ready to carry out their responsibilities in this unification, and are familiar with their duties.

<3>Each person should choose his/her partner but parents and elders can assist in this matter. <4>However, they should not impose their will on the choice, unless a young person is making an obvious mistake from a spiritual or psychological point of view -- but not from a financial or social point of view (position, class, race, etc.).
  

1- Understanding Marriage From The Spiritual Point Of View:

a- Origin (): <5>In the beginning the male and female energy was in a balanced state in each being (they were in the image of God) ().
  

b- Separation (): <6>In the course of evolution, however, it became necessary to separate them into two parts as male and female. This was necessary in order to be able to help each unit consciousness more effectively. <7>Before this happened, the unit consciousness did not feel any need for help from the external world, so they would not strive to progress toward higher consciousness.
  

c- Unification (): <8>When a man and woman understand that they are greatly attracted to each other on a spiritual level (not physically or intellectually) in such a way that they are almost sure they are each other's soulmate, then they should marry. <9>However, marriage between an unmatched male and female can also be successful if they understand the spiritual truth behind the unification through marriage. By focusing on God and becoming one with Him, they also become one with each other, as each other's halves.

<10>As the false ego tends to direct a person to self-centeredness, the spiritual realization, however, can only be gained by dissolving the false ego through being more concerned about others than the self. <11>This can be achieved very easily by marriage if each partner becomes more concerned about the physical, mental, and spiritual progress of the other partner. This will cause one to forget about one's little false ego (self-centeredness) and to merge with the other partner by understanding his or her needs instead of thinking about the self. Therefore, the person creates the ability to come out of himself and be concerned about others. <12>Only then can these couples manifest the love and selflessness of the Lord by their own example toward each other and others.
  

d- Generation and Appreciation (Children): <13>With having children, parents also become creators. Therefore they can feel the same love that God feels about His creation and the humans. This also increases the spiritual realization of the couple toward God-realization. <14>If they love their children so much (and they actually did not create the children but were only tools used to bring them to the world), you can imagine how much God loves humans and His creation which He personally created!
 

e- Independence (Separation From Parents): <15>Marriage also brings independence for couples.  As stated in Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."  They will gain their own family and become an independent, separate family block in society.
 

f- Duties: <16>The man is the provider and protector of the family.  He should also be the priest and spiritual example (Divine Logic) for others. <17>The woman is the comforter (Divine Grace) and coordinator of the family. She is also the center of the family life.

<18>Man and woman are equal in progressing physically, mentally, and spiritually, and all facilities should be provided equally for both to progress in these three levels. <19>However, equality does not mean similarity. Men and women are different physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually (the female body is more suited to manifest Grace, and male -- Logic). So they should realize this fact and act according to their own natures.
 

g- Spiritual Progress: <20>With this kind of marriage, humans can reach Pure Consciousness in the middle of the family life. Man should not forsake the family in order to pursue a spiritual life. With understanding the realities behind things in this universe and their Darmas (natures), the human can realize all things are spiritual. <21>As man follows the Laws of God as they have been set up, he can continue living in society and doing actions without being bound by them.

  

2- Understanding Marriage From A Social Point Of View:

a- A Unit Block Of Society: <22>As many small bricks create a building, many families make up the society. If a building is composed of strong, well-chosen bricks, it will be strong. Similarly, if the families are strong and well-formed, the society will be strong also. <23>A society with confused family planning, many divorces, and misunderstanding the importance of strong families is a weak society, no matter how wealthy or powerful it might look.

<24>However, a society with a strong family structure is like a house built on stone. It will not be shaken with wind, flood, or disasters. This kind of society can easily withstand negative forces against itself. <25>In fact the very reason for those societies which have developed highly and have become powerful is based on their strong family structure, and the reason for their fall is based on the loss of their early family structure because of prosperity which brings greater self-centeredness.

<26>Therefore, also understanding and following the truth behind marriage from a social point of view is a must.
 

b- Satisfaction Of Physiological Needs: <27>The human body is created in such a way that it is also physically attracted to the opposite sex. The best way to satisfy this need is through marriage with the other part which will result in the highest experience of the relationship between a man and a woman. <28>In fact, this is the only acceptable way to satisfy this physiological need.
 

c- Companionship (Satisfaction Of Psychological Needs): <29>Marriage is also the most perfect way to bind two beings together so closely to form the best friendship possible. This will satisfy the psychological need of having companionship for those who have this need.
 

d- Best Environment For The Growth of Children: <30>An ideal marriage creates a loving, secure, and suitable environment for children to grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in order to create a great society.

  

3- The Ritual Of Marriage And Its Significance:

a- <31>The man is asked if he is fairly sure that the woman is his soulmate, because when two parts as soulmates marry, they will never divorce. <32>He should take an oath that he understands the merits, reasons, and philosophy behind marriage completely, understands his duties as protector and provider, and also will help his partner to grow physically, mentally, and spiritually.
 

b- <33>The same questions are asked and an oath is taken from the woman, that she understands the virtues of marriage and will be the comforter and loving wife as the center of the family, etc.
 

c- <34>An oath is taken from the audience that they will help the couple (as much as possible) in their growth, physically, mentally, and spiritually, and also will help them to become established in their marriage (society is responsible for the individual as the individual is responsible for society).
 

d- <35>The couple is announced to be wife and husband.

<36>Also the bride and groom can each have a candle in their hands and at the end of the ceremony, light them and exchange them as the lights of their consciousnesses. They can bring the candles together to form one flame as a symbol of having merged together and become one.

<37>Then while the two flames are still merged as one, they bring the candles to a dish with water which is close to them. They extinguish the flame by immersing it into the water. <38>The extinguishments of the flame symbolizes the death of the ego into ashes by becoming One in God (consciousness, water) and <39>continuation of their spiritual marriage even beyond death.

<40>Then the bride and the groom take some of the burned ashes from their candles by their thumbs and put the ashes on each other's forehead (third eye, ego). <41>This further is a symbol of how each will help the other in the process of becoming one with God (consciousness) and their egos will become ashes in Him. <42>They will become One with each other in God.

<43>The candles are wet and cannot be re-lit. The couple is sealed together forever in God.

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